Washington Was Against Flynn

Put Your Head Between Your Legs and Kiss Your Ass Goodbye

COVID-19 has given the world the big chili up the brown-eye...  no doubts about it...

1. Americans will blame Trump in November for all their problems
2. Americans will vote Republicans out-of-office in November
3. Businesses will not look kindly on increased regulations
4. American economy will take months to rebound
5. Global economy will take even longer
6. Americans will continue to suffer
7. HATRED WILL FILL THE AIR

That was the GOOD NEWS...  so, let's hear it for the BAD NEWS...

• COVID-19 will cause China & America to be worse enemies
• Russia will unite with other countries against America
• Taxes will increase substantially to pay for COVID-19 Stimulus Package
• COVID-19 will cause global starvation and poverty
• The wealthy will get even wealthier
• America's Middle Class will disappear
• More Pandemics will appear

How do I know this will happen?

I don't know...  no one does...  but, look at the world today...  do you think the COVID-19 Pandemic will bring Americans closer to the Chinese...  knowing it was the Chinese that caused all their economic pain?  Americans must HATE someone or something in order to justify their experiences...  In this case they have China for the someone and COVID-19 for the something.

Russia has no choice but to unite with China against the USA in both military and economic efforts because both these countries are simply pissed off that the USA continues to remain on top of the MOUNTAIN...

America's Financial Structure has been SERIOUSLY WEAKENED by the COVID-19 stimulus package and it will take a long time to get a handle on that...  plus, our already high debt will have to dealt with eventually.  

There are only TWO CHOICES:

• One -  reduce spending
• Two -  increase taxes

Many believe that both of these will have to take place simultaneously...  maybe, maybe not...  but, our debt will ONE DAY have to be reduced...  

Who will we borrow money from?  CHINA?

What if we simply print up more money?  Well...  that will devalue to dollar and everything will immediately cost more and we'll be worse off than we were before...

AND,

what about our continued RACIAL PROBLEMS

what about our continued GENDER EQUALITY PROBLEMS

KEEP THE FAITH - GOD WILL PROVIDE

BLUE ANGELS - THUNDERBIRDS FLY OVER NYC

Two in the morning...

INSOMNIA is a BITCH...   at least, that is my personal opinion for whatever it is
worth... 

What really PISSES me off is that I am not worried about anything nor has there been anything left over from today that I have postponed until tomorrow...  In fact, I was going to mow the lawn this morning before it rained and decided to mow it yesterday.

Not even my frigging cats are up...   

Internet Definition of    INSOMNIA:  Insomnia is a sleep disorder in which you have trouble falling and/or staying asleep. The condition can be short-term (acute) or can last a long time (chronic). It may also come and go. Acute insomnia lasts from 1 night to a few weeks. Insomnia is chronic when it happens at least 3 nights a week for 3 months or more...


What I find interesting about this definition are the two words:  ACUTE and CHRONIC because I could never figure out which one was worse when they were used on Medical Shows on TV or Cable...   and, it would appear that chronic is worse.  And, while this may not seem like a big deal to YOU, it is a frigging BIG deal to ME.


And, I suppose that this makes it worse when it comes to returning to sleep but as soon as I get up when I cannot sleep I make myself a cup of coffee to drink while I am passing the time...   I guess it's better than biting one's finger nails.

Unidentified Flying Objects

An unidentified flying object (UFO) is any aerial phenomenon that cannot immediately be identified. Most UFOs are identified on investigation as conventional objects or phenomena. The term is widely used for claimed observations of extraterrestrial spacecraft.   SOURCE:  Wikipedia

The term "UFO" (or "UFOB") was coined in 1953 by the United States Air Force (USAF) to serve as a catch-all for all such reports. In its initial definition, the USAF stated that a "UFOB" was "any airborne object which by performance, aerodynamic characteristics, or unusual features, does not conform to any presently known aircraft or missile type, or which cannot be positively identified as a familiar object". Accordingly, the term was initially restricted to that fraction of cases which remained unidentified after investigation, as the USAF was interested in potential national security reasons and "technical aspects"

W T F...

After all these years, our Federal Government finally admits to having witnessed UFO's...  and, on top of that, these UFO's were seen by US Navy Pilots...  making the sighting even more credible...

It leaves this paranoid author wondering just how many more things our Federal Government have been hiding from us...

Government Finally Admits UFOs

Motivation

What is motivation?


Motivation is the the reason or reasons one has for acting or behaving in a particular way.

Motivation is the experience of desire or aversion.


Can you motivate me?
Can I motivate you?


NO!

SO, what's the point here?


WELL...  all we can do is create the environment that allows others to MOTIVATE THEMSELVES...

Will We Ever Live Like We Used To Live Again?

What concerns me more than anything else during this Pandemic is the fact that "life in the US of A" will never be the same...

If this is TRUE, my further concern is that AMERICANS WILL NOT take care of themselves simply because they do not want the Federal Government to tell them what they should do...

• Americans DON'T LIKE staying at home
• Americans DON'T LIKE social distancing
• Americans DON'T LIKE not going out to restaurants
• Americans DON'T LIKE not being able to have FUN

This Pandemic or COVID-19 has FORCED AMERICANS to do exactly that which they do not want to do and once the restrictions are lifted, they will react without taking precautions...   and, the result could be disastrous causing this virus to hang around for a very long time.

It is TRUE that warm weather and UV light will slow down or kill the virus but like other viruses this one could hide in the body and return with cold weather in the FALL...  plus, there are millions of people who are carrying this virus around inside their bodies without showing any symptoms...

AMERICANS ARE THEIR 

OWN WORST ENEMIES

Living in The Sixties

I graduated from high school in 1966 and after traveling through Europe for a couple of weeks because I had been living in Cairo, Egypt, I settled in the State of Maryland working road

construction at Regal Construction Company until entering College as a Freshman in the Fall.  After attending college for two and a half years, I left college because I suddenly realized that I just did not want to be there.

So, without my draft deferment for being as College student, I had to do something or else I was going to be drafted and possibly sent to Vietnam which is the last thing that I wanted to do with my time.  Therefore, after securing a full time job with a local company, I enlisted in the US Navy Reserves which allowed me to work for 12 months before going on active duty for 2 years.

Dealing with the DRAFT and the fact that OUR GOVERNMENT could send young men to WAR was not just a huge FEAR for people like me but caused us to have a SOLID RESENTMENT for our country into which we had been born.  It just did not seem right to us that our Government could force us to do something that we did not want to do...

One of the songs that reflected our feelings during this time was "For What It's Worth," by Buffalo Springfield.  Buffalo Springfield was a Canadian-American rock band active from 1966 to 1968 whose most prominent members were Stephen Stills, Neil Young, and Richie Furay.


For What It's Worth

There's something happening here
But what it is ain't exactly clear
There's a man with a gun over there
Telling me I got to beware
I think it's time we stop
Children, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?
There's battle lines being drawn
Nobody's right if everybody's wrong
Young people speaking' their minds
Getting so much resistance from behind
It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?
What a field day for the heat
A thousand people in the street
Singing songs and carrying signs
Mostly saying, "hooray for our side"
It's time we stop
Hey, what's that sound?
Everybody look - what's going down?
Paranoia strikes deep
Into your life it will creep
It starts when you're always afraid
Step out of line, the man come and take you way away

If I Had It To Do All Over Again...

What would I change?
                                     Not a frigging thing...

I may not be a Billionaire, or a Millionaire, or even wealthy for that matter and what I do know about myself is that I am not stupid either...  so, what the hell does that even mean?  

Well, it means this:  "...that my life has gone through all that it needed to go through in order to get my ass to what and who I am today..."  

What the hell you say, that shit does not even make any sense because of the choices that we can make and the changes that we can take based upon new information.  

And, to that I respond:  "...yes, that is all true about the choices...  but, those choices were already known and the changes were already being orchestrated in order to get us where we are today..."

While it may sound like I do, in fact, have my head up-my-ass, I assure you that I do not and not just because it is physically impossible but because this is what I believe.  

REMEMBER:  We did not chose the date, the place, or our birth parents...  So, who or what chose that for us?  

Coincidence?  

Is that what you really believe?

And, outside of suicide, we will not change the date, the place, or the actual reason for our death either...

Who do you think chooses that for us?

GIVEN those two extremes of our lives, it is reasonable and logical to assume that all that shit that happens to us in between birth and death has been arranged for us as well...

CYBER ATTACKS

Hackers have launched coronavirus-themed cyber attacks in 241 countries and territories, according to new research from Microsoft.

"Every country in the world has seen at least one COVID-19 themed attack," the software giant said on its blog Wednesday.

Bad actors are tailoring their phishing emails and other malware to mention the disease, and the attacks are hitting hardest where they hurt most: Hackers turn up the heat on a country that is experiencing the pandemic, when people need health information online, the research shows.

Rob Lefferts, corporate vice president of Microsoft 365 Security and the blog's author, told Business Insider that the cyber attacks follow the pandemic around the world geographically.

To Read Entire Article

Unpredictable

After moving to TN from NC in 1990, the weather patterns in these two States were similar
depending upon geographical locations within each State.  I had relocated from the Piedmont of NC to the Valley of TN and while the two areas were similar, the valley in TN was protected by the Cumberland Plateau on its Western side and the Smokey Mountains on its Eastern side providing even more protection against the weather than I had experienced in the Piedmont.

Gradually, our winters in the Valley became mild and if we got any snow at all, it was only once or twice of about an inch or two with the temps entering the 40's and 50's a day or two later.  Basically, it was no winter at all, compared to the decade of the nineties.  Winter temps, over-the-years seldom dipped before freezing and it they went lower than freezing never remained for more than a 5 day week before bouncing back up.

By the middle of MARCH in the VALLEY winter typically was over back then...  but, not anymore.  March is no longer that transition month.  Typically, by April our cold weather had vanished and we could begin to experience a gradual warming trend...  but, not anymore.  April has become an unpredictable month providing us with the cold weather that had traditionally been associated with March.

Thanks to the DEMOCRATS, our weather is no longer predictable especially since they have encouraged us to deal with their claims of GLOBAL WARMING....  Had they not been such a BITCH about it, our weather patterns would have remained relatively predictable...  I cannot believe that the Democrats did this to us!!!       ROTGLMAO

Sexuality

Whacking Off Myths

According to Verywell Mind,  masturbation carries no risk of sexually transmitted diseases or pregnancy and research suggests that it may actually have both sexual and emotional benefits.

The Truth About Masturbation

1. Masturbation does not cause hairy palms.
2. Masturbation does not make your eyesight go bad or cause you to go blind.
3. Masturbation does not cause acne.
4. Masturbation will not cause your penis to shrink.
5. Masturbation will not make you go insane.
6. Masturbation does not cause cancer.
7. Masturbation will not make you infertile or sterile.2
8. Masturbation will not turn you into a pervert.
9. Masturbation will not give you an STD.1
10. Masturbation is not self-abuse.
11. Masturbation is not a steppingstone to the homosexual lifestyle.
12. Masturbation is not unnatural.
13. Masturbation will not hinder your social and emotional development
14. Masturbation is not infidelity.

MASTURBATION

No one will deny that exercise does the mind and body good. When you work out, your body releases endorphins, which can trigger positive sensations. But do you know what else can make you feel good? Enjoying a little solo play.

That’s right: masturbation is a healthy and safe way not only to turn yourself on, but also to relieve stress, improve your sleep, and release built-up sexual tension.
In fact, solo play has infinite health benefits and absolutely no downsides — plus, it’s a lot of fun!

Keep reading to learn more about masturbating with a penis, how you can get started, and what you can do to make your next solo session a steamy one.

To Read Entire HEALTHLINE Article

Isolation Ideas

THERE ARE NEW 

PHOTOS 
AT


PHOTOGRAPHY GALLERY

Are You A Boiling Frog?

Concept:  The premise is that if a frog is put suddenly into boiling water, it will jump out, but if the frog is put in tepid water which is then brought to a boil slowly, it will not perceive the danger and will be cooked to death.

It is this author's belief that this is how both our POLITICAL PARTIES are treating the American Voters...

Each election cycle whether it be 2 or 4 years, we basically vote the same politicians back into office as if we perceive or actually believe that they are doing the job that we want them to do...  even when, we know for a fact that they have not done that which we wanted them to do.

WHY?

Is it easier just to keep putting them back into office?
Perhaps...
But, isn't this political apathy?
We don't want to be bothered by trying to figure out who is telling the truth or who is not and more importantly who has the mental capacity, strength, and determination to influence other politicians to move this country in a direction that benefits ALL ITS CITIZENS and not just the wealthy or the well off...

AMERICANS ARE BOILING FROGS AND DESERVE WHAT WE ARE GETTING...

Pew Research Center

BY LEE RAINIE AND ANDREW PERRIN

Many Americans see declining levels of trust in the country, whether it is their confidence in the federal government and elected officials or their trust of each other, a new Pew Research Center report finds. And most believe that the interplay between the trust issues in the public and the interpersonal sphere has made it harder to solve some of the country’s problems. This research is part of the Center’s ongoing focus on issues tied to trust, facts and democracy. Here are some of the key takeaways from these findings:

Americans think the public’s trust has been declining in both the federal government and in their fellow citizens. Three-quarters of Americans say that their fellow citizens’ trust in the federal government has been shrinking, and 64% believe that about peoples’ trust in each other.

To Read Entire Article...

My Political Philosophy is aligned with being a CONSERVATIVE LIBERAL...  but, I am neither a Democrat nor a Republican when it comes to Party Affiliation...

I did not vote for President Trump and I did not vote for President Obama...

BASICALLY:  I DON'T TRUST POLITICIANS

BUT...

let me be completely honest with you,  I DON'T TRUST WEALTHY PEOPLE...

In the East Tennessee area, the phrase:  "let me be completely honest with you," which is used often in these parts has always made me instantly feel when stated that the speaker has not been perfectly honest with me up to that point...

...and now, I have just used that same phrase...   interesting...

Am I being hypocritical or just using a phrase that seems to fit in its understatement?  I guess I will have to leave that answer up to you, the reader...   if, in fact, you decide to read this. 

Harvard Under Pressure

HARVARD

(CAMBRIDGE, Mass.) — Harvard University announced Wednesday it will turn down $8.7 million in federal coronavirus relief, a day after President Donald Trump excoriated the wealthy Ivy League school over taxpayer money it stood to receive.

It followed similar actions at Stanford and Princeton universities, which said they will too will reject millions of dollars in federal funding amid growing scrutiny of wealthy colleges.

Officials at Harvard said the school still faces significant financial challenges due to the pandemic but will refuse the money over concerns that “intense focus by politicians” will undermine the relief program created by Congress.

“While we understand any reallocation of these resources is a matter for the Department of Education, we hope that special consideration will be given to Massachusetts institutions that are struggling to serve their communities and meet the needs of their students through these difficult and challenging times,” Harvard said in a statement.

TO READ ENTIRE ARTICLE

What this author finds interesting is the fact that Harvard, Stanford, and Princeton universities WERE GOING TO ACCEPT these monies until Average Americans started BITCHING about it once they discovered that these Billion Dollar Endowment Universities were acting so GREEDILY...

What does that tell you about their Liberal Education Values...

SCREW THE AVERAGE STRUGGLING AMERICAN...  I'M GREEDY AND I WANT THIS MONEY FIRST...

We Will Never Be The Same

COVID-19 STAY-AT-HOME ORDERS has got me to thinking...

About what you might be asking?

How Covid-19 is effecting/affecting Americans in the sense of The Declaration of Independence which states:  "...We hold these truths to be self-evident, that all men are created equal, that they are endowded by their Creator with certain unalienable Rights, that among these are Life, Liberty and the pursuit of Happiness..."

Beautiful words written by thoughtful, insightful, and intelligent people...  BUT, we all know that once we get past the words...  that this phrase will never be true.

Why am I making such a claim?

Look around you at this COVID-19 Pandemic..  are all people equal in how they are trying to survive and coping?

HELL NO...

How much suffering have the:

1. Billionaires endured?
2. Millionaires endured?
3. Congress endured?
4. Governors endured?
5. New Anchors endured?
6. Reporters endured?
7. Hollywood Celebrities endured?
8. Professional Athletes endured?
9. Professional Musicians endured?
10. Middle class endured?

NONE...

Listen to me...

I am 72 years old, suffering from 2 kinds of cancer and heart disease, retired and living off of Social Security and Savings...  and, I have not suffered at all except not being able to vacation in Destin, Fl last month, not being able to go out to a restaurant or to a movie theater, or just visit a Starbucks at the nearest Shopping Mall.

Why is this?

     I have no debt
     I have enough money to pay my bills
     I don't need to work
     I don't live "high on the hog" as they say
     I've been spending most of my retired time in doors anyway

BUT,

what about those who have to work?

what about those who have debt?

what about those who have children living at home?

what about those who earn $50,000 a year or less?

what about those who live paycheck-to-paycheck?

what about those who are handicapped?

what about those elderly living alone?

These people who report the news have no frigging idea how people like this live nor do they seem to care...  because all they seem to care about is showing how much fun they are having with their pets and trying to convince others (who are not as well off as them) to remain positive because we are all in this together.

BULLSHIT...

Yes... Mistress!

Being the Middle Child

If you are a middle child, or 

have a sibling who is a middle child, you may be wondering if “middle child syndrome” is a real thing.

Middle child syndrome is the belief that middle children are excluded, ignored, or even outright neglected because of their birth order. According to the lore, some children may have certain personality and relationship characteristics as a result of being the middle child.

TO READ ENTIRE ARTICLE...

This author is a middle child and strongly feel like I was treated differently by my older sister and younger brother but THEY BOTH SWEAR that this was not the case and that I am imagining something that simply did not take place and that I am laboring under a false set of assumptions but it does not really matter nowadays other than I would like to be proven, once and for all, that I was correct in my assumptions.

One issue however is true and that is the fact that I was a REBEL and broke just about every rule that my parents set into motion around the house, and my REBEL behavior was so bad that I was arrested by the police for breaking and entering, grand theft auto, and grand larceny.  All of this took place before I graduated from the 8th grade.

If anything was done wrong in our parent's house, I was blamed or became the scapegoat.  In fact, I remember one Christmas when my brother attended a live-in private high school and I was married and my brother visited us first before we all drove down to meet our sister and her family and parents to attend a Christmas Eve Church Celebration.  He did not want to go to Church so he asked me to leave late and drive slow...  When we arrived at my sister's home. everyone was walking out of the house to go to Church and my brother cried out, "It was my brother's fault...  he did not want to go to Church so he drove slow."  Everyone was mad at me for the rest of the Christmas Holiday.

Self-Esteem

Maslow's Hierarchy of Needs

Self-esteem is an individual's subjective evaluation of their own worth. Self-esteem encompasses beliefs about oneself (for example, "I am unloved", "I am worthy") as well as emotional states, such as triumph, despair, pride, and shame. Smith and Mackie (2007) defined it by saying "The self-concept is what we think about the self; self-esteem, is the positive or negative evaluations of the self, as in how we feel about it."

Self-esteem is an attractive psychological construct because it predicts certain outcomes, such as academic achievement, happiness, satisfaction in marriage and relationships, and criminal behavior. Self-esteem can apply to a specific attribute (for example, "I believe I am a good writer and I feel happy about that") or globally (for example, "I believe I am a bad person, and I feel bad about myself in general"). 

Psychologists usually regard self-esteem as an enduring personality characteristic (trait self-esteem), though normal, short-term variations (state self-esteem) also exist. Synonyms or near-synonyms of self-esteem include many things: self-worth, self-regard, self-respect, and self-integrity.

I Have Control Issues...

WHEN I WAS GROWING UP:

▶️Every morning I had to make my bed using hospital corners and the sheets had to be so tight that a quarter would bounce when dropped onto them...

▶️Everyday, I had chores that I had to accomplish for which I was paid at the end of the week, like...

1. feeding the dog
2. walking the dog
3. cleaning-up the basement area
4. washing the windows
5. mowing the yard
6. washing and waxing the car
7. raking-up and burning leaves
8. digging a 3 inch trench on either side of the sidewalk to remove the grass
9. washing/drying the dishes
10. putting dishes back in the cabinets
11. setting the table for dinner
12. putting away the folded clothes left on my bed
13. changing light bulbs when necessary
14. carrying in the groceries from the car

▶️As far as my weekly allowance was concerned, I had to save half of it and the rest I could spend anyway I wanted to spend it...

▶️Breakfasts were scheduled as follows...

• Mondays/Wednesdays/Fridays - eggs with bacon/sausage/scrapple
• Tuesdays - oatmeal with cinnamon toast
• Thursday - pancakes/french toast with syrup
• Saturdays - cereal with a pastry
• Sundays - waffles with syrup or fruit

▶️Every Sunday, we attended both Sunday School and Church Services even when sick unless we were bed ridden and this included vacations although we did attend Sunday School until we graduated from high school.

Consequently, once I graduated from high school and throughout my entire life after high school up until today (at age 72), I have been against all those who have tried to control me, including spouses...

Adultery

Buddy Hackett

LIES... Lies... lies...

I am watching FOX NEWS this morning and every once in a while I pay attention to the commercials (for some reason) and the last time I did that I watched a plea for Tunnels to Towers and heard a mother say to her children that "daddy became an angel."  While that is a gentle way to tell young people that a loved one is dead, it is nonetheless still a LIE...

Whether right or wrong, I believe that children should be told the TRUTH...  it may be brutal for them to hear this, so the truth is not a perfect solution, but at least their role models have not LIED to THEM.

Other ways that PARENTS LIE:

• Santa Clause
• The Easter Bunny
• The Tooth Fairy

Existentialism

Jean-Paul Charles Aymard Sartre was a French philosopher, playwright, novelist, screenwriter, political activist, biographer, and literary critic. He was one of the key figures in the philosophy of existentialism and phenomenology, and one of the leading figures in 20th-century French philosophy and Marxism. Wikipedia

Existentialism is a philosophy that emphasizes individual existence, freedom and choice. It is the view that humans define their own meaning in life, and try to make rational decisions despite existing in an irrational universe.

A central proposition of Existentialism is that existence precedes essence, which means that the most important consideration for the individual is the fact that he or she is an individual—an independently acting and responsible, conscious being ("existence")—rather than what labels, roles, stereotypes, and definitions are placed upon the individual.

An example of existentialism would be when a person makes a decision about their life, follows through or does not follow through on that decision and begins to create their "essence." ... It is said in existentialism that existence comes first and essence comes second.

Existential Themes:
Importance of the individual. ...
Importance of choice. ...
Anxiety regarding life, death, contingencies, 

and extreme situations. ...
Meaning and absurdity. ...
Authenticity. ...
Social criticism. ...
Importance of personal relations. ...
Atheism and Religion.

SEX TRAFFICKED

Sexual Harassment

During my lifetime, I have never sexually harassed a female although I might have shared an off-color joke in the presence of a female, but those females were also engaged in sharing off-color jokes with males as well.  And, every time there was a sexual encounter with a female that resulted in having sex with each other, it was more of the female encouraging me than it was me encouraging the female...

How can I say this?

I am shy, withdrawn, and have a very low self-esteem which prevents me from sexually harassing another female without her permission first.

What I would typically say is that I respect females too much to sexually harass them, but that is not true it is more of what I just explained than anything else.

With that said, I have had sex with dozens of females before I got married and with dozens of females after I got married as well...  most of them were other married females...  because, I wanted them to be at risk just as much as I was at risk.

Interestingly, that sexual behavior came to an abrupt halt when I got married for the second time and while I am not exactly sure why that happened...  I am glad that it did.

A Dead House

A Conspiracy Theory

Do I believe that Ancient Aliens visited earth?            YES


Do I believe that President Kennedy was killed because he was a Catholic?             YES


Do I believe the wars in the Middle East were started to boost our economy?           YES


Do I believe the DEMOCRATS are using COVID-19 to defeat Trump in November?              YES


Ever since Candidate Trump defeated Candidate Hillary 2016, the entire DEMOCRATIC PARTY along with the mainstream media has been on a mission to DESTROY President Trump which was evident by the Mueller Report that essentially did not find enough evidence to remove Trump from office...  but, when the phone call with Ukraine surface, the Democratic Controlled House of Representatives with a party majority voted to IMPEACH President Trump but the Republican controlled SENATE with a party majority voted not to IMPEACH...

SO, it is not unreasonable to think that the DEMOCRATS are using COVID-19 and Stay-at-Home Orders to keep the ECONOMY CLOSED and SHUT DOWN as long as they can in the hopes that a destroyed economy will be blamed on President Trump, resulting in his legal removal from office in November by having the vote to become the US President favoring JOE BIDEN...



Think about it...

Schools of Life

European Train Rides

HOW TO MAKE 

BROCCOLI FRIES 

HAS BEEN 

POSTED AT        MY COOKING

72 Years Old/Young Whatever...

I am just stepping into my seventh decade of life and I believe that the BIBLE says that we have been given 8 of them for some reason instead of 15-20 like was the case in The Old Testament.  For some reason (unknown to me or anyone for that matter), I was given an atypical (not representative of a type, group, or class) personality that can be found in the INTJ type personality according to Myers-Briggs.  I have been tested 4 times during my lifetime in 10 year intervals and the results are always the same.

This personality type embedded inside my mind coupled with the very structured, military like upraising by my parents and the encounters with classmates, teachers, and friends during my elementary school years, left me with a re-engineered personality and behavior pattern that caused me to live out my life differently than those around me.

Experts will tell you as they have told me that I had CHOICES and made those CHOICES regardless of the influence(s) around me and that I could have changed those CHOICES anytime I wanted to...  and, even if they are/were right, I did not fight the instincts that guided me.  And, therein lies my problem.

RESULTS:
I have been fired 10 times by my employers
My brother and sister are intentionally ignoring me
My second wife wishes she had left me years ago
I only had 2 friends, one died, and I destroyed the other one

One could easily say that I am SELF-DESTRUCTIVE...

And the million dollar question is WHY?

Why am I like this?