Married but Alone

I was married to a nice lady from NC for 23 years before we got a divorce and had one daughter together who is now in her late 40's.  My second marriage took place after living together for 5 years in the hopes of getting to know each other better and while, at the time we thought that was a good idea, looking back living together makes no difference at all because pretend continues to be played out on both sides until the actual marriage takes place.  We too have been married almost 23 years and I feel like this marriage has just about run its course as well...

Married but Alone is an appropriate title because I have had no network of support for 30 years...  my parents (before they died), my sister, and my brother live in NC and NY respectively and my daughter lives in China with no plans to ever return to the USA.  My wife's friends (with whom I had nothing in common no matter how hard I tried) accepted and tolerated me because of her.  Therefore, my life revolved completely around her without providing me any kind of release.

Another really big issue was:  EDUCATION...  I have a Masters Degree whereas all she has is a high school diploma and has the vocabulary and grammar of an 8th grader who virtually has no awareness of knowledge of history, geography, mathematics, science, philosophy, biology, English, the operation of government/Congress, or religion even though she considers herself to be a "born again" Southern Baptist Christian.

You might be asking yourself...  what exactly brought us together?

Easy answer:  we had both just gotten a divorce and SEX

What exactly am I leading up to here?

… BORED AND DEPRESSED …

I have been retired for 5 years with nothing to do except listen to my wife (who is also retired) tell me how stupid I am...  how lazy I am...  how I don't care about the house...  how I cannot be trusted...  how I should perform plumbing, electricity, and carpentry projects at home even though I do not have a technical aptitude for any of that.

Not too long ago, she told me that she told a married man at the Church she attends that "she should have left me years ago..."

With that said, she expects me to celebrate our anniversary as if nothing is wrong...

Here's the problem:
I am 72 years old with memory loss and showing signs of poor driving skills
I am being treated for two cancers, both of which could be life threatening
I might have prostate cancer as well
I have heart disease and suffered a triple bypass heart attack 12 years ago
I have no other friends to drive me to or from the hospital
I have no other friends to drive me to the grocery store and back
I have no other friends to drive me to doctor's appointments
If we got a divorce and split our assets 50/50, I would not have enough to pay my bills for 20 years if I were to live that long

The more I think about this, the more depressed I get...

My daughter and I don't talk
My sister and I don't talk and don't want to talk
My brother and I don't talk even though I have reached out several times
Both our parents are dead

SOMETIMES, I think the best course of action for me to take is to die...  that is not to say suicide since I do not believe in that...  but just hoping that my cancers take me sooner than later...

What an ungrateful way for my life to end...